LESBIAN SEX 101: RUBBING, BANGING, LICKING, GRINDING, FUCKING

LESBIAN SEX 101: RUBBING, BANGING, LICKING, GRINDING, FUCKING

So how do lesbians have sex. I mean really, without penetration, are they really gettin' it on? And doesn't a guy just do it better? (HELL NO!!)

Well here goes. Lesbian sex. How are we getting off and how are we really having sex. Let's start with the clit. I think with my clit, I talk with my clit, I dream about my clit...I found my clit when I was 7 and been touchin it ever since. My clit gets me off, not my hole. So, it's a wonder why I don't need penetration at all.

Here's a quick summary of how Lez's get down. From 1st base to a Home run.

RUBBING
Getting your clit rubbed by another girl is foreplay. Yes, you can orgasm off of it, but since most of us can have more than one orgasm anyways, it's still just foreplay. Rubbing is like 1st base in the Lesbian Sex World.

BANGING
Banging is penetration. But, I cannot cum from penetration alone. And the person doing the banging can't really orgasm in their finger, so this isn't sex either. It's not mutually orgasmic. It can and does feel very good and in-fact if you mix it with Rubbing you can make for a fun fun time. Some LUCKY girls can cum from banging alone, but I imagine these girls also like being with boys since that is all they need. Banging to lesbians is like 2nd base :)

LICKING

Still not sex. Not even if you 69 it. But it sho is fun! It is still just oral sex and is awesome to sync your orgasms at the same time. My favorite licking position is when someone mounts my face and rubs their clit on my face or "rides my face" orrrrr when I ride theirs. But it can be a lot of work being the rider, so make sure your stamina is UP UP UP. Also, again you can mix this with banging if you're really coordinated and this is like 3rd base :)

GRINDING

This is the epitome of Lesbian sex. This is how we have sex. And if it's not..oh my fellow Lezzy it should be. If you haven't tried it, your life really, truly isn't complete until you do. This should encompass every Lesbian relationship, yet there are still so many Lesbians who are yet to try it. I dunno if it is because it can be awkward positioning your legs like scissors in and through your girl's legs...or maybe because it feels soooooo good and intense that it scares people...but nothing is better than rubbing your tickle box on your lez lover's tickle box and cumming at the same time. It doesn't matter if you're Femme, Stud, Androgynous or anything in between...grinding is for EVERYONE. If you are shy, you can be the bottom...if you are a freak, then you can be the top. GRINDING is never shown in porn (mostly because guys who produce porn don't even realize it exists) even though it is the hottest thing in the world to see...It's not just wet, it's beyond wet, beyond messy, beyond rough, beyond wild...it's awesommmme! And this is how not only you hit a Home run, but your lover does too...all at the same time. How fair is that!!

FUCKING

I think Fucking is either describing Grinding or it can be used to describe the use of strap-ons. Strap-on sex is a whole 'nother world that I have never fully grasped. The reason, I don't like this, is it makes me feel like I'm trying to emulate a straight relationship and straight sex. There is a reason I'm a lesbian and it's because I like Lesbian sex and love the clit, not the rubber penis and the hole. But I'm definitely not knocking it...I have a feeling this is more fun for the one with the strap on on...powerful...penis envy relief...in control. For the one taking it...you must like just straight in and out penetration. And this probably works best for those that can cum from penetration alone. Both people don't cum at the same time, so I'm on the fence about saying this is a complete Home run...maybe I should edit Grinding to be a Grand Slam and Strap-On Fucking is a regular Home run!!

Oh, the choices...oh the fun...oh the temptation. From 1st base to Grand Slam, lesbian sex is amazing, addictive and beautiful :)

THE YEAR OF THE STRIPPER...Rappers pick a new theme for '09 PLEAAAASSSE

I can't tell you how tired I am from hearing the same topic over and over again from every rapper/hip-hop artist out there this year. Especially from T-Pain. Brotha, I think you are a great performer live (Saw you last year and you had the whole stadium going DUMB), but you started an annoying trend. It all seemed to start with your "I'm in Love with a Stripper" Song in '05...and here we are in '08 and none of the rappers can shake this topic.

Let's review:

• 1. "CAN'T BELIEVE IT" - T-Pain/Lil' Wayne

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT_fnAjZNDY

This song's stripper shout-out - "cus u look so good, tell me y u wanna work here, put u on the front page of a king magazine, but u gone get ur self hurt here. ay, baby i brought u in the back just to have a conversation, i really think u need some ventilation. lets talk about uuuuuu and meeeeeee. (hook)ooww i cant believe it, ooh, ooh, she all on me (on me) man man i thank she want me (want me) naw i cant leave her lonely nawwwww. oooww i cant believe it, oow, oow, she all on me (on me) man man i thank she want me (want me) naw i cant leave her lonely nawwwww. u dont understand she make the people say yeahhhh, yeahhhhh, yeahhhh, she hit the main stage she make the people say, yeahhh, yeahhh, yeahhhh"

• 2. "DANGEROUS" - Kardinal Offishal/Akon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFeaqB-AAMo

This song's stripper shout-out - "that girl is so dangerous. that girl is so dangerous. that girl is a bad girl. i seen her type before. she's so dangerous that girl is so dangerous. that girl is a bad girl [yeah][Kardinal Offishall]ohhhh yeah thats her, thebig dog tryna get her lil kitty to purrex man lookin at me like im Lucifer cause he knows i will deal wit the case yes sir!if i was the last man on earth i would only take that girl end of search. she give a new definition to the word curve got chicks in the strip club envyin hers body's like weapons of mass eruptions sit the glass on that fat obstruction tongue game give a new type seduction im tryna give that girl somethin!"

• 3. "GOT MONEY" - T-Pain/Lil' Wayne

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKtZF-Mxv2I

This song's stripper shout-out - "Got money (yeah)And you know it. Take it out your pocket and show it (then)Throw it (fly)This a way (fly)Thata way (fly)This a way (fly)Thata way Gettin' mugged. From everybody who see that. Hang over the wall of the VIP Like...[Verse 3: Lil Wayne]Okay,It's Young Wayne on them hoes. A.K.A. Mr. Make It Rain On Them Hoes. Like ehhhh! Everybody say Mr. Rain manCan we have a rainy day?Bring a umbrella. Please bring a umbrella Ella, Ella, Ella ehhh! Bitch ain't shit but a hoe in a trick. Bet you no one ain't trick if you got it. You know we ain't f**king if you not thick"

Rappers, please stop dedicating all your songs to Strippers...Please stop reminding me what every pretty girl and pretty girl wanna-be resorts to when they can't use their brain to make money and instead give brain to make money. And, do you realize you sound pathetic talking about f**king the easiest girls out there? I mean how many dollar bills does it take to take a stripper home? I'm sure it's like a dollar more than a lap dance.

I'm not completely doggin' on strippers tho...me AND my fiance both have made the mistake of dating strippers in our past. The stripper I dated...had a stage name of China...I saw China perform at her club and make this certain sex face mixed with a wink to all the guys. Then one night, when she was kissing me, she made that very same sex face/wink to me...it made me feel like I needed to pull out my dollar bills...hence I took my money bags elsewhere and made it rain with my vibrator instead. :D

My fiance's ex-stripper was apparently a non-typical stripper and a full-on Lesbian even though she dry humped for a living....Dreamer was her stage name and my fiance sticks up for Dreamer like crazy and even claims that her ex did not give lap dances in the back, but instead just had clients! HAHAHAA! Dreamer had my fiance dreamin' and believing that she made all her money $1 dollar at a time on stage and that she magically made clients without snail trailin'/dry humpin' on their penises in the back.

Anywayzzzz, point is...enough with the Stripper Anthems. We need a new topic that glorifies successful women, the real sexy women...the educated, business woman...the makes her own money kind of woman. The don't rely on a man kind of woman. Let's follow Ne-Yo with his latest tribute to a woman:

"MISS INDEPENDENT" - Ne-Yo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wtm8v6MryBk

This song's NON-stripper and actually the exact opposite of a stripper shout-out - "There's something about a kinda woman that can do It for herself. I look at her and it makes me proud There's something About her. There something Ooh So sexy about the kinda woman. That don't even need my help"