LESBIAN SEX 101: RUBBING, BANGING, LICKING, GRINDING, FUCKING

LESBIAN SEX 101: RUBBING, BANGING, LICKING, GRINDING, FUCKING

So how do lesbians have sex. I mean really, without penetration, are they really gettin' it on? And doesn't a guy just do it better? (HELL NO!!)

Well here goes. Lesbian sex. How are we getting off and how are we really having sex. Let's start with the clit. I think with my clit, I talk with my clit, I dream about my clit...I found my clit when I was 7 and been touchin it ever since. My clit gets me off, not my hole. So, it's a wonder why I don't need penetration at all.

Here's a quick summary of how Lez's get down. From 1st base to a Home run.

RUBBING
Getting your clit rubbed by another girl is foreplay. Yes, you can orgasm off of it, but since most of us can have more than one orgasm anyways, it's still just foreplay. Rubbing is like 1st base in the Lesbian Sex World.

BANGING
Banging is penetration. But, I cannot cum from penetration alone. And the person doing the banging can't really orgasm in their finger, so this isn't sex either. It's not mutually orgasmic. It can and does feel very good and in-fact if you mix it with Rubbing you can make for a fun fun time. Some LUCKY girls can cum from banging alone, but I imagine these girls also like being with boys since that is all they need. Banging to lesbians is like 2nd base :)

LICKING

Still not sex. Not even if you 69 it. But it sho is fun! It is still just oral sex and is awesome to sync your orgasms at the same time. My favorite licking position is when someone mounts my face and rubs their clit on my face or "rides my face" orrrrr when I ride theirs. But it can be a lot of work being the rider, so make sure your stamina is UP UP UP. Also, again you can mix this with banging if you're really coordinated and this is like 3rd base :)

GRINDING

This is the epitome of Lesbian sex. This is how we have sex. And if it's not..oh my fellow Lezzy it should be. If you haven't tried it, your life really, truly isn't complete until you do. This should encompass every Lesbian relationship, yet there are still so many Lesbians who are yet to try it. I dunno if it is because it can be awkward positioning your legs like scissors in and through your girl's legs...or maybe because it feels soooooo good and intense that it scares people...but nothing is better than rubbing your tickle box on your lez lover's tickle box and cumming at the same time. It doesn't matter if you're Femme, Stud, Androgynous or anything in between...grinding is for EVERYONE. If you are shy, you can be the bottom...if you are a freak, then you can be the top. GRINDING is never shown in porn (mostly because guys who produce porn don't even realize it exists) even though it is the hottest thing in the world to see...It's not just wet, it's beyond wet, beyond messy, beyond rough, beyond wild...it's awesommmme! And this is how not only you hit a Home run, but your lover does too...all at the same time. How fair is that!!

FUCKING

I think Fucking is either describing Grinding or it can be used to describe the use of strap-ons. Strap-on sex is a whole 'nother world that I have never fully grasped. The reason, I don't like this, is it makes me feel like I'm trying to emulate a straight relationship and straight sex. There is a reason I'm a lesbian and it's because I like Lesbian sex and love the clit, not the rubber penis and the hole. But I'm definitely not knocking it...I have a feeling this is more fun for the one with the strap on on...powerful...penis envy relief...in control. For the one taking it...you must like just straight in and out penetration. And this probably works best for those that can cum from penetration alone. Both people don't cum at the same time, so I'm on the fence about saying this is a complete Home run...maybe I should edit Grinding to be a Grand Slam and Strap-On Fucking is a regular Home run!!

Oh, the choices...oh the fun...oh the temptation. From 1st base to Grand Slam, lesbian sex is amazing, addictive and beautiful :)

How "LESBIAN" are you? Gold, Silver, Bronze??

In the spectrum of the Lesbian World, how Lesbian are you?

This question is brought up a lot in the Lesbian world to rate whether or not you are really and truly a lesbian or just passing time in the homo world. Apparently I'm what you call a Silver Star Lesbian...one that started out with Men for several years, until I was ready to come out. I made this transition at the end of my 21's...I had my first woman experience, thought my life was fulfilled and perfect and complete and then BAM!!! she hurt me, she played me and she made me fall for her all in the short 2 months that I dated her...Typical of the Lesbian world, but for me...as a newbie, I was totally not used to that roller coaster speed and when I got hurt, it made me reevaluate if I was really really ready to take on this lifestyle. When I was with guys for years, I never felt connected nor as strong to them as I did in those 2 months with the girl I dated...and not being as connected gives you logic and control of your feelings. With guys I was in control of my feelings and reactions. My relationships did not define me, they did not control me...I was extremely independent. So with this first girl (Lesbian) experience, it got me scared, SUPER scared that with all this new satisfaction and fulfillment that I'd lose TOTAL control of my feelings and scared that I'd fall in the deepest type of love that I'd ever experience before. TOO MUCH LOVE EQUALS TOO MUCH PAIN...I knew that if I enveloped my life as a lesbian that 2 things were certain. 1. I'd fall in the deepest love I'd ever fallen in before and 2. When the relationship ended, I'd hurt more than I'd ever hurt before. What a cause and effect to look forward to. After this first Lesbian relationship ended in chaos as most do, I tried my very best to date a guy again and tried my very best to convince myself that I'd like it. I tried to make this relationship into the same ebb & flow of the girl relationship I just had. I took him to dinner, I bought him endless gifts and clothes...I spoiled this idiot and he milked me for everything I had. But, even though I couldn't connect with him...I was in control of my feelings...all of my feelings. After about a month and realizing he was not a girl and never would be...haha...I ended it and since then have never looked back at guys again. Hence, I got the Silver Star Lesbian Card.

And now fast forward, 8 years later, and my fiance, Lucky Girl is a Gold Star Lesbian and can high five herself for being more of a lesbian than me. My Silver Star Lesbian status has her question my credibility...has her question whether I'm gonna go back...and probably gives her trust issues with my guy friends. I actually would give anything to have known who I was pre-puberty, so that I could have experienced all the ups and downs of a lesbian relationship before I was an adult. Starting out as a Lesbian in my 20s made me feel like I went thru dumb 'ole awkward puberty all over again. Now, I can kinda see why Gay Men who come out later in life if their 40s or more start acting immature and start chasing after 18 barely legal guys. I keep thinking it's cuz they are gay and a little perverted going after young boys. BUT, now I'm thinking it's really cuz mentally, their gay side hasn't had 20+ years to mature, as the rest of their body has.

Well, anyways, Silver Star Lesbian...Gold Star Lesbian...why do we have a hypocritical view for Lesbians that have been with men in the past, like...."ew, you're gonna go back..you're not really a lesbian"...but yet, we don't taunt the old man that decided to come out gay after being married to a woman for 25 years. We don't say to him "ew, I don't believe you're really gay...you're gonna go back to women, I just know it." Isn't he a Silver Star Gay guy too? If he has earned his stripes into Gay-Dom...then I have too Damnit!!!

PROP 8, THE IRONY OF IT ALL

I can't even tell you how much stress Prop 8 has caused me in the last couple of weeks. The highs and lows of it all has made me feel like I'm on some bi-polar roller coaster ride. No other time in my life have I gone back and forth from being super-proud of being gay to wishing I was straight. And I'm sure I'm not the only gay person in our community going through this...and I'm also sure that no straight person would quite understand.

THE WEEKS BEFORE
The weeks leading to the election, each time I went outside, there were people showing their support for either YES or NO. Those that had their YES stickers on their cars and in front of their lawns would rile me up so much, that I literally could not contain these feelings that boiled inside of me. Feelings, I'd never felt before, like a helplessness mixed with "if I could just sit with this person for 1 minute, I could change their mind...give me 1 minute". If a Yes sticker would drive by, I'd try so hard to get next to them to see who this body of hate was, trying to get their attention to question why they believed so much in a Yes vote...as if I could possibly have my 1 minute driving 65mph on the freeway. Then, everywhere I went to escape this feeling of anger and helplessness, like hiking or shopping, there it was...PROP 8 hate everywhere. The Oakland Mormon church, go figure happened to be on the same street as my beautiful hike and all along the center divide leading to the hike, were Yes on 8 signs with little silhouettes of Families holding hands, as if to say "Do it for your Family". Then, on my way to Costco, a drive that normally takes me 10 min, had me stuck in over an hour long traffic...moving like snails, I'm thinking oh it must be a stalled car, or hopefully not a fatal accident...nope, it was this bike overpass that had a 15-20 foot wide sign that said YES on 8, MARRIAGE=1 MAN + 1 WOMAN and people surrounding it. 1 guy stood in front of them with his NO ON 8 little 8x11 inch sign and was waving at every1. It brought tears to my eyes, that he had so much courage standing with his little sign in front of all those people with the YES 15 foot sign and people surrounding it. But it also made me mad, that here in the BAY, of all places, where people are smart, cultured and liberal...the place I sought refuge, as I'm sure many other gay people did to live as far away from uneducated bigots as possible, that PROP 8 hate even existed here.

THE WEEK OF AND AFTER
On Election Day I was hopeful, but then I must admit I became cynical after seeing all the YES stickers and signs in the Gay Mecca. I knew it was gonna be close, but I had a bad feeling about the outcome...and I must have refreshed the Result Page on CNN every 2 min. to see how the race was fairing. The bad feeling came true, and in the morning, the results stayed YES ahead 52-48%. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach, and hated the world. I felt especially bad for anyone that got married, that were probably feeling confused as to whether or not their marriage was valid anymore. Then, I needed someone to blame and quickly found the exit poll results... Here I was thinkin that the exit polls would show something that made sense to me and the exit polls showed me something I never would have expected. All races voted pretty equally Yes and No...all but one. 75% of black people voted Yes on Prop 8. Truth be told the exit polls made me blame black people. It made me wonder how in the world could they turn their back on a minority with all they have been through. How? It disgusted me. It made me want to take back anytime I stuck up for all the stereotypes....anytime I felt empathy...It made me want to scream at every black person I saw, because chances were 3 of 4 I could have approached voted Yes. I mean here we are thinking white people are the gate keepers to true acceptance and elitist and we predict they are the most discriminatory group, but, we were proven wrong with Prop 8. Whites voted evenly both ways, making them more fair than Blacks. That left me speechless and now on the defense to every black person I came across. What the hell, Prop 8 has made me walk around carrying all this hate.

Now I'm not about to verbally attack a black I don't know...that would be like someone attacking a gay they don't know and really that is what this whole damn thing is about. These people voting YES, don't know me or my life and shouldn't be judging me. But I did have to do something with all the built up anxiety and anger and hopelessness. So I marched. I marched in SF from the Civic Center to Dolores Park. I marched with 10k other people, totally unprepared for the rally, holding outdated signs that said "Vote NO on Prop 8", but I didn't care if they were outdated...I had to make a stance and I needed to feel like I wasn't the only one torn up by this. Our march in SF may or may not have sent a message. To most people it was probably annoying, to be stopped in traffic during Friday rush hour for 2 hours, wrecking or halting whatever Friday dinner plans they had. But we have to start somewhere and if we have enough of these marches and stand together, I have the hope that we will gradually get there. There are marches and rallies all over the U.S. and I'm hoping that enough people take being gay seriously enough to know that we can band together and do this. This is not to have the right to party, or to be able to kiss in public...this is for equality...and for many of us, getting this equality will allow us to finally let go of this hate that has been dropped off to us.

Please join the impact and march this Saturday in front of your local City Hall...we are not going to be silent anymore:

http://www.jointheimpact.com/